Apology 22: The Un-bought

Tender Loving Stuff
Haul Out Blvd.
Trash City
TLS 1H0

Dear Un-bought,

I am sorry that I did not buy you, and instead, left you in the store for who knows what kind of person to take home.

Please accept my apologies, all you clothes that I tried on during my latest shopping trip. I bought only a little cardigan that I can roll up and carry in my mini backpack. As tickled as I am with that purchase, I do feel a little twinge of guilt about the rest of you. I particularly regret leaving you, cute yellow tank top. You must be praying for more hot weather. There is a lot of competition in sleeveless cotton this year.

I would like to spend my way out of this recession. I really would. I am accustomed to helping in this way. My credit history will testify to it. However, I am a baby boomer looking toward retirement. Our little house is already filled with accumulated manufactured stuff. Following the examples of some friends and relatives, I did consider renting a storage locker to stockpile my old things so I could buy new. But paying for one would cut into my ability to buy more stuff. I am caught between a rock and a hard place.

I understand the exigencies of the faltering international macro-economy. Each country needs to increase their GNP and tax base. I am experiencing the same dilemmas. If I am not spending and paying taxes, meager arts grants, which are few and far between at the best of times, will not be there to partially support the work that pays the bills, and I will need a bailout to assist economic recovery.

Forever Yours,

TLS

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Apology 21: Generic Object

Tender Loving Stuff
2 Haul Out Blvd.
Trash City
TLS 1H0

Generic Object
Garage/Studio
On the Lane

To The Object It May Concern:

Please accept my apology for not writing you an individualized letter. As soon as I owned up to my responsibility for the harm I have caused to all the objects in my possession and to things that have slipped through my fingers, I have been swamped with the tidal wave proportions of my To Do list.

You must think I am a really bad person. It has come as quite a shock to me that you might be right. I have always considered myself more careful with my things than most people. In the North American context, I probably am. On my death bed, will I regret that I did not shop enough? I doubt it. Flying over all the garbage dumps across the world on my way through the clouds, I might be appalled at the amount I contributed to the heap.

I am sending this generic letter as a temporary measure. I promise to write a full, itemized disclosure of my thoughtless behavior toward you and your company. I will rectify the situation to the best of my abilities.

Sincerely,

for TLS

Apology 20: Cards and Letters

Tender Loving Stuff
Haul Out Blvd.
Trash City
TLS 1H0

Dear Postcards, Cards and Letters,

You are the discarded costumes and props from the drama/soap opera/comedy that is my life’s story. You stood in for short stories never written and scripts never captured on video. You provide synopsis. But how long do I keep you? Until you’ve yellowed, been spilled on, or begin to disintegrate? How many times will I read you? Is any number enough to provide me with adequate memory of the moments you document?

I don’t know what I can do or say to help. I need to rid myself of you, and the excess of stuff.

Forever Yours,

TLS

 

Apology 19: Sketchbooks

Tender Loving Stuff
2 Haul Out Blvd.
Trash City
TLS 1H0

The Mermaid Kicked off Both her Shoes
Representing the Journals
Garage/Studio
On the Lane

Dear Both Shoes:

Is it really a loss that I have hidden you away? Am I undervaluing you by keeping you in a box?

I look at what gets attention in the art press: beautiful artists creating works of grandeur using the best of their talents. I know that I have a poorly developed ego, but I feel the self-importance to share these insights with the rest of the world. I am surrounded by things I have made, and materials for things I have plans to make.

I am repeating myself: filling journals with ruminations on consumerism. As I transcribe my meandering words on the computer, I know that this is how life is. I do not need to remember each moment.

Sincerely,

for TLS

Apology 18: Plastic Containers

Dear Plastic Container,

For some reason I scanned the handwritten letter I wrote to you. Other letters were handwritten too but I didn’t photograph or scan them and now I can’t find them. They will likely turn up after I post the apology letters 2 weeks from today. For the present, I’ll leave you feeling special.

TLS